No, but seriously, how do you even start a relationship?

Ex. If I liked someone, I would most likely never ever tell them because lol I wouldn’t even know how to deal with it and telling the person? Like that’s going to happen. What if they didn’t like me back, weren’t looking for a relationship, said I wasn’t their type, only wanted to be friends but I made the friendship awkward by telling them that I liked them, etc?

How would you even deal with that? I don’t…

There is so much potential for ruining friendship or for rejection inherent in this scheme, because I certainly wouldn’t start dating someone if I weren’t friends with them first.

WHAT EVEN. How does this work? How do you relationships.

I don’t know how it feels to like someone. Possibly because I won’t allow myself to like someone, because how would it end well? But surely I can’t have that level of control of my emotions. Possibly because I just have never liked anyone, simple as that. Except I’m almost 21, and that’s a little unrealistic.

How do you know what it feels like? For example, I find myself thinking about one of my friends a lot. Things that this person has said or written make me feel nice and a bit happier, and I reread the written things numerous times.  I often think about this person when going to sleep, and I pray for them pretty much daily.

No, I just don’t understand or know anything about this area at all. :/